The Maintenance of a Life
My dad had a pillow. It’s mine now.
Journal
Essays
and notes.
Writing, filmmaking, revision, failure, and the work of finishing things.
Maybe Being the Punk Is Just Another Way to Belong
Growing up, I thought acceptance was one of the highest things you could earn.
Why Do I Always Apologize?
I don’t mean when I actually fuck up. I’m talking about the other apologies.
Grieving the Imagined Man
When I was a kid, I had this idea of the man I’d turn into.
CPTSD, ADHD, the YouTube Algorithm—or Maybe I’m Just Super Suggestible
I’ve never felt safe in my own skin. Not once. Especially not this past year.
The Work Is Solitary. Being an Artist Is Not.
Writing is often lonely.
Letter to the Past: Dear 2021 Chris, You Became the Writer. Now Become the Operator.
You are not going to like how slowly some of this happens.
Letter from the Past: Dear 2026 Chris, Do Not Make Me a Liar.
I am writing to you from the dangerous side of hope.
Not Special
Growing up, I was given two gifts that turned out to be curses.
The Man I Buried and the Man I'm Building
There was a version of me who knew how to walk into a room.
Truth is not the same as reality
For a long time, I could not tell the difference between criticism of my writing and criticism of my life.
The Cavalry IS Not Coming
There are two things I want to do with my life as a writer.
SMALL TOWNS ARE NOT SMALL LIVES
A lot of my work is about loss.
Writing is a road trip through the Dark
People sometimes ask how you write a script.
THE Blank page was never the problem
People talk about the blank page like it is a monster.
The First Movie I Ever Made Was Taped Over by Baseball
The first movie that made me want to make movies was not the kind of movie filmmakers usually cite when they are trying to sound impressive.
peace is not a lack of ambition
A famous actor died, and the internet did what it does when someone famous dies.
The month I disappear
Every year, there is a stretch of time when I become harder to reach.
why I left The feed
I am not naturally good at social media.
What the Future self knows
I keep thinking about the person I was twenty years ago.
The part that grows back
When I was a kid, I watched X-Men on Saturday mornings.
i tried to quit writing. it didn’t work.
A few years ago, I quit.
You Don’t Lack Discipline. You Lack Courage.
You have spent a lot of your life thinking you had a discipline problem.
The pulpit and the platform
Lately, I’ve been wondering why AI gives me the same sick feeling in my stomach that religion does.
WHY I’m an atheist
I keep getting messages from people who want to bring me back.
Dad, I’m Free
This morning I woke up and the first thing I felt was freedom.
This is what religion does to people…
I know the title is blunt.
Living Like I’m Hurt
I’ve been thinking a lot about ceilings lately.
Not Good, Not Bad
A few weeks ago, I put my pages in the hands of screenwriters and producers, hoping someone might find something worth keeping, or at least not recoil as if the words themselves burned.
An Empty Brain, A Blank Page
Writer’s block.
The Apogee
You throw something up in the air.
THE OUTLIARS
We keep lying to ourselves about what normal is.
LARKSPUR
I keep dreaming about my grandparents’ house again.
How To Succeed As a Screenwriter without Killing Yourself
Recently I had a moment where I was just depressed and stuck.
Two Projects, One Reckoning
I’m stuck between two bullshit projects: trying to make a disgusting bathtub look halfway decent and wading through a mountain of legal crap from a family lawsuit that’s been rotting in the background for decades.
THE SCOURGE OF THE INTERNET
It always starts the same way.
Drop the Luggage
You ever feel like you’re just running from anxiety and it’s always right behind you?
THE REAL PLAGUE
I remember opening facebook a couple months ago, when I was getting my hair done.
Sleep
I like sleeping.
Why I’m Still Here
It wasn’t because I found the light.
Confession Draped in Fabric
Grief slithers around my throat, intestine-leash, tugging me through fluorescent cathedrals where mannequins kneel headless.
The Preciousness of Life
I’ve looked at my brother’s body.
The Slow Roll Downhill
Last year, my dad came to visit.
Fire, Marshmallows, and the Lie of the Middle
I’ve written before about my disdain for the news.
That Funny Feeling
A couple years back, maybe a year into the pandemic, I started disappearing.
“Mona Lisa” Feels Like Freedom: BTS, Grief, and The Soundtrack That Saved Me
I didn’t expect to find freedom in Korean pop music.
You’re Not Dead Yet
Yeah, your little brother died in Iraq.
Bukowski Was Right
“One day someone will say Bukowski was right.” —Charles Bukowski, People are Pointless And when that day comes — people will gasp, clutch their pearls, and slap a suicide hotline number underneath it.
His Name Was Jeremy
I remember getting handed the phone on February 29, 1988.
The Ghosts I Keep Waking Up
Recently, two things returned to me: Grief.
You Want a Hot Take? Here’s a Hot Take: Fuck You.
Let’s just get this out of the way: Not everything is profound.
Manifest This, Motherfucker
Some people say you can manifest your dreams by writing them down.
The Gate Collapsed
There’s a brutal kind of irony to it: the moment I felt like I was finally gaining traction in screenwriting—finally—the road just...
Nobody Wants to Work Anymore
This isn’t a boomer take.
You Don’t Fucking Need It
There’s a thing I see.
STAY MESSY, STAY STANDING
THE NEW REBELLION: STAY ALIVEYou know what's underrated in 2025?
A TRIP HOME (PT. 2)
I got another call, this time from my dad’s cousin, who just so happened to be visiting dad.
A TRIP HOME
This past week started with a phone call, at 4AM on Saturday (Feb 15), telling me that dad was in the ICU and that I should come home as soon as possible.